A dream of a person once known. A twisted imagination jolting you to another time. Waking, you fall into the realisation they are no more. And all that’s left are a few faded memories, matched with a wandering mind.
A movement so quick,
or was it so slow?
A sight not seen.
The real reality?
A place unknown.
Unlike the norm.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Isn’t it funny how you can concoct so many ideas of reality in your head without even leaving the house?
A trait I’m sure you enjoy more when you are younger: when long days in the summer are filled with dreams of what you could do, fantasises of who you will be, where you will live and what you will see.
Ideas would flit in and out about what your life should be when you grow up, when you are a grown up. Ideas of how you are meant to live life.
“I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind.”
When did you become resigned in the life that you’re in?
Did you just stop, but carry on? Stopped trying to change things and just continued with them?
When you look back, closely, you can see a point where your life took a turn.
Too many things didn’t work out, some things got hard. There was more disappointment than happiness, more frustration than success. Or just something happened that led you off the road.
So you continued on a different path than the one you originally imagined. You continued on the one that was nicely packaged. That would give you a stable life, stable feelings, stable thoughts.
But then from time-to-time, you look back and think ‘what if?’.
You tell yourself that you’re happy, that you worry less, that you don’t think about the what you’re supposed to be doing and that you are no longer as lost as you were in those trying stages.
You have enough money to do the things that you enjoy. You have friends, you maybe have a partner. You have boxes checked and a general sense that everything’s okay.
But now and again you get those niggling thoughts; there’s more. There’s more than this. There’s more to do. There’s more that would make you fulfilled.
But then you go to the pub or see a friend, or do something that’s one part distracting and two parts entertaining, and you feel okay about it all again for a time.
So you continue in the sickly cycle of the same.
There is always so much hope and anticipation about the New Year.
We wonder what it will bring. What joys and excitement await. How we’ll be better. How we’ll make resolutions of things to achieve, and actually get round to doing them this year.
But soon that newness of the year will falter and eventually it will be lost. We’ll slip into the same old routines. We’ll forget the promises that we made to ourselves, the dreams and hopes that we had for the year ahead. And we’ll continue on the path that we’ve always known as it’s the easiest one to follow.
This year, instead of making thousands of resolutions. Just make one.
Instead of pinning so many hopes and dreams on the idea of the New Year, remember that every day is the chance to be what you want to be and do what you want to do. You just have to get up and do it.
This New Year promise yourself that you will bring the excitement and hope which you feel on New Year’s Eve to every single day.
(And this New Year I’m apparently going to be a truly awful motivational speaker.)