Age

Good Night

Who are you to know

the insides of me?

Why should you see

the thoughts that filter through?

You’re nothing but

a passing moment.

Already prepared

with a goodbye speech,

how the night was fun,

but now the sun has risen.

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Body

A stranger, yet so familiar.

Unwanted, yet encouraged.

A change, not thought forward.

A curve, placed uninterrupted.

A reflection, so slightly altered.

What if? 

When did you become resigned in the life that you’re in?

Did you just stop, but carry on? Stopped trying to change things and just continued with them?

When you look back, closely, you can see a point where your life took a turn.

Too many things didn’t work out, some things got hard. There was more disappointment than happiness, more frustration than success. Or just something happened that led you off the road.

So you continued on a different path than the one you originally imagined. You continued on the one that was nicely packaged. That would give you a stable life, stable feelings, stable thoughts.

But then from time-to-time, you look back and think ‘what if?’.

You tell yourself that you’re happy, that you worry less, that you don’t think about the what you’re supposed to be doing and that you are no longer as lost as you were in those trying stages.

You have enough money to do the things that you enjoy. You have friends, you maybe have a partner. You have boxes checked and a general sense that everything’s okay.

But now and again you get those niggling thoughts; there’s more. There’s more than this. There’s more to do. There’s more that would make you fulfilled.

But then you go to the pub or see a friend, or do something that’s one part distracting and two parts entertaining, and you feel okay about it all again for a time.

So you continue in the sickly cycle of the same.

Quote: Evelyn Waugh РBrideshead Revisited 

“The languor of Youth – how unique and quintessential it is! How quickly, how irrecoverably, lost! The zest, the generous affections, the illusions, the despair, all the traditional attributes of Youth – all save this come and go with us through life…These things are a part of life itself; but languor – the relaxation of yet unwearied sinews, the mind sequestered and self-regarding, the sun standing still in the heavens and the earth throbbing to our own pulse – that belongs to Youth alone and dies with it.”