Month: January 2016

Girl in Black and White

Your standpoint

A wave of regret.

Red, hot,

Sweeping.

Taking all the space.

A silly remark,

Unthought,

Delivered all wrong,

Received not right.

Panic.

A rush of blood,

A look of red.

Hours, days,

Stressing.

Mentioned, later.

They didn’t remember.

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Empty Bench and Lamp post

Goodbye

What would you say,
If you were to say goodbye?
Would you keep it short and sweet,
Would you delve down deep?

What would you do,
If you had no more tomorrows?
Would you look back in pleasure,
Would you give away your treasure?

What would you say, what would you do,
If you met your final hour?
Would you hold on tight,
Would you give away your power?

What would you say,
If you could only say one more thing?
Would you be honest, would you be kind?
Would you let them into your mind?

Glass Breaking

Frustration 

You are frustrated.

You can feel it bubbling.

The annoyance, rise.

You try to express your point,

But it comes out blurred.

The frustration grows.

You try to breathe,

To gather your thoughts, opinions.

Why can’t they see?

Why can’t they understand?

You try again, but they laugh.

You try to hold it in,

But you can’t.

Tears stream down your cheeks,

Hot, wet, against your cold flesh.

You are frustrated.

Quote: Thomas Nagel

“The point is… to live one’s life in the full complexity of what one is, which is something much darker, more contradictory, more of a maelstrom of impulses and passions, of cruelty, ecstacy, and madness, than is apparent to the civilized being who glides on the surface and fits smoothly into the world.”

What if? 

When did you become resigned in the life that you’re in?

Did you just stop, but carry on? Stopped trying to change things and just continued with them?

When you look back, closely, you can see a point where your life took a turn.

Too many things didn’t work out, some things got hard. There was more disappointment than happiness, more frustration than success. Or just something happened that led you off the road.

So you continued on a different path than the one you originally imagined. You continued on the one that was nicely packaged. That would give you a stable life, stable feelings, stable thoughts.

But then from time-to-time, you look back and think ‘what if?’.

You tell yourself that you’re happy, that you worry less, that you don’t think about the what you’re supposed to be doing and that you are no longer as lost as you were in those trying stages.

You have enough money to do the things that you enjoy. You have friends, you maybe have a partner. You have boxes checked and a general sense that everything’s okay.

But now and again you get those niggling thoughts; there’s more. There’s more than this. There’s more to do. There’s more that would make you fulfilled.

But then you go to the pub or see a friend, or do something that’s one part distracting and two parts entertaining, and you feel okay about it all again for a time.

So you continue in the sickly cycle of the same.