They say we’re in charge of our own destinies, but when we dissect the different segments of our lives, what are we actually left in charge of?
In the very first instance we don’t have a choice as our parents chose to – or ended up – conceiving us.
We’re then born in a certain country, to a certain type of family – black, white, political, socialist etc. It’s all something that we do not choose. Parents will say my children will be this… will be that… they are the first influence in your life.
Of course, the person that you grow into is the age old question of nature Vs nurture, but either way, it impacts your course in life.
Then what comes next…
We go to school, college and maybe university. Of course, we choose to go to these places but that does not necessarily mean we get to go to the chosen one. The latter two especially as they usually have an entry criteria that involves selling yourself in a few words and then sometimes an interview.
This in itself instantly limits our destinies as the other person who is choosing whether to accept you or not is now in control of it. You can only do so much.
This applies for jobs – once you’ve finished the hurdle of going through school, college and uni. If you are not very good at selling yourself, forget that interview. If you’re not very good at interviews, you guessed it, forget that job.
Of course it isn’t as simple as this and the above can only make you work harder because if you work hard enough you’ll eventually get that big break, that foot in the door, or so they say.
But this is not the point of this post. The point is do we really understand the full extent of how much we really affect those around us and those whom we come into contact with?
The above details more extreme examples of how people affect others on a regular basis, but it also applies on a smaller scale too.
That person you gave the odd compliment to – you made their day. Likewise that one comment you made to that girl in year five about her big nose – that stayed with her for the rest of her life.
As much as we should concern ourselves with ourselves because, after all, it’s all we’ve got. We also need to sometimes take a step back and realise the weight and power that we have in decisions, our actions and what we say.
When we really want something we often overlook what we already have, or we overlook those around us. We don’t care about the people or don’t realise what our actions do because we are so preoccupied with our ‘self’.
As humans we interact with each other; that’s what we do. And by doing this we influence and change people… cause and effect if you will. So in terms of our destiny as much as we try to be in charge of it, we can’t possibly be.
You might be on a path that you’re not happy with, you might have changed it as much as you possibly can but you still aren’t happy. There’s not always a great deal that can be done about this except for knowing what you want, remembering what you want and never forgetting what that end goal is.
Do not be discouraged by the fact that you have to jump through hurdles to get where you want to be because, let’s face it, if you weren’t jumping around what else would you be doing? Not a lot. Exactly.
So dream, dream and dream again. Remember those around you, remember what you already possess in life but most of all remember to dream. Life can be what you want it to be – just, it may take a pinch of patience.